Find Some Tables And Start

Lane Clark’s contribution to the Novitas Magazine sharing her experience at Project Knot Work


Project Knot Work was born as we sat around tables.

Our kitchen tables. Coffee shops. Hand-made tables in log cabins. The plastic tables of library study rooms. Picnic tables in our backyards.

Project knot work was born as we fostered relationships.

Relationships our children built with each other over years of play and connection. The bonds made by the shared trials and triumphs of motherhood. The community created by the isolation of living life outside of school.

And, because we follow their lead and their wisdom, project knot work was born from an expressed desire for more formalized but child-led projectbased learning by the children in our families.

Around tables of various types and sizes, our children began collaborating beautifully on projects of their choosing once a week for a year before we formally began project knot work.

We sat at those tables untangling some things and tying new knots. Together.

We, parents and children and partners in lifelong learning, sat together and disentangled our relationships to extrinsic motivation and perfectionism and fostered Anti-Excellence instead.

We tied knots of trust and curiosity to see each other in new ways and shared our life’s work of living outside of school with more people in new ways.

Our motivation to gather more tables to formalize, expand, and experiment with this project came from:

  • a desire to expand their work past our own kitchens and into community with more learners
  • a pull to share our work, our unlearning, and our children’s curiosity and ingenuity with the wider community
  • a priority of connecting our learners with other mentors who live their lives outside of norms and without traditional structures or authority figures
  • a yearning to facilitate creative, valuable direct person-toperson community building and knowledge sharing
  • a commitment to encouraging learning through mastery while engaging in self-trust through Anti-Excellence

We spent several seasons brainstorming and planning. We took encouragement from other project-based programs and microschools and around one more table in a cabin in the woods, we wrote up a plan for our first session, outlined our values and goals, and invited our first cohort to gather.

We are now in the midst of our fourth session of project knot work, with our own space, full of its own tables and so much growing and learning.

Adults and children at one table.

One of the expected consequences of Project Knot Work is that, as facilitators and adults, we’ve had a chance to form deeper relationships with children outside our closest circles.

While we knew this would happen, and were eager for our own children to have a chance to form closer and new bonds with all facilitators and other community members, what we‘ve observed and felt is beyond what we anticipated. The good kind of surprise.

When child learners feel at home with adult facilitators, we don’t have authority. We have cooperation. We don’t have power, we have partnership.

One morning, a learner sat down to our morning socratic discussion with a hat on, hood up. On a cold, winter northern Michigan day in a room of eclectic fashion, this wasn’t unusual. As we broke out to work on our projects, they pulled the facilitator aside.

As it turns out, it had been an emotional morning for that child. And there were scissors nearby. And some hair was cut. Just a little. Out of frustration. Just a little release.

And later, with a calmer mind and in the safety of our studio, the child asked for support to call their parent to admit the diy haircut that the hood had concealed and in revealing the new hairstyle to their peers. And maybe in helping get the new hairstyle slightly more symmetrical before the next available appointment at the salon.

The learner and the facilitator stepped into the hall and facetimed mom. “Everything is fine! We just wanted to share something with you…” There was laughing. Maybe some crying. Sometimes it’s hard to tell the difference.

Back in the studio, they pulled up a special stool. The best scissors available were brought out. Our first haircut as a group, we rejoiced! The day went on. Hair grows back, after all and relationships grow deeper.

By the end of that day, progress was made on our projects for that session. Some documentable learning was done, I’m sure. I remember and what the learners saw and the facilitators felt was connection. Trust. Community. Empowerment. Collaboration.

The support an adult can bring with their wisdom, met with the respect children deserve because of their humanity.

Every table has many uses.

The kids at project knot work build this space and this community in collaboration with the creative membership-based community of grown-ups who make up the other arm of our life long learning and Anti-Excellence community, Knot Work Studio.

To foster Anti-Excellence and heal perfectionism, to build in-person community, and to foster self-trust that systems like school depleted in us, we created a parallel community of professionals who share this space.

These community members have shared their tools, their time, and their expertise with learners. As a parent to these young people, my heart is grateful. As a grown up member of this community, my cup overflows.

The grown ups enter the space and see, like fairy dust sprinkled on our worktable, signs of the children being in the studio. They see messes made. They see projects completed. They see big ideas embodied. They see silliness coming alive. They see signs of children living in ways they wish they would have a chance to be when they were young – with trust, community, empowerment and collaboration.

The learners enter the studio and see, like Christmas presents piled on their worktable, signs of the adults being in the space the night before. They see messes made. They see projects completed. They see big feelings in physical form. They see playfulness from their elders. They see signs of adults inhabiting the same sacred space with the same sacred ideas – trust, community, empowerment, collaboration.

Find some tables, and start.

Our community was born of and is built on all of the communities that we’ve belonged to before. Those where we saw ourselves and wanted even more of. Those where we felt unheard and wanted more for ourselves.

As we learn more about what the learners of Project Knot Work want and need, we will work to grow and change. As we deepen our connection to the physical studio and our creative neighbors, we will become stronger and more rooted.

How can you take the ideas of your heart and find them seated around a table? It’s hard. And tiring. And complicated. And simple. And beautiful. And full of lessons.

Ask questions of your young people. Ask them to ask you, too. Ask for help from your peers and your community. Be clear about what you want to build. Be aware that you’re probably not seeing the whole picture. Write all your plans in pencil. Build everything with a willingness to take it apart.

Get a notebook. Get a friend. Get a big mug of whatever fuels you.

Find some tables, and start.


You can find more about Project Knot Work at https://www.knotworkstudio.com/project-knot-work. You can also read more from Lane Clark on her substack at https://laneclark.substack.com/


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